The following is dedicated to the letter a. The first of many letters. . . And all those police in Edmonton schools that do so much to help students learn, and even more to serve and protect us all . .
The waves, the waves reached to the clouds
in the storm churned skies.
And the wind, the wind howled like a demon caught in a trap.
And the pirate in charge, th epirate captin listed at the helm,
gripped the wheel with both hands.
CRASH went a wave
FLASH went some lightning
BOOM went the thunder
And Lurch went the pirates heart
as he momentarily
thought of the nightmare. . . .
A Kraken of the deep, quested to challenge pirates thought the pirate.
“Arrr, third swab” cursed the pirate in a gravely voice
” bring me two bottles of grog, and get the first mate to pilot for a while
I got to go count the loot and swill some grog down my beak!”
“Arrrrr” griped the third swap and he went off to do the pirate captins bidding. . .
“Arrr” barked the pirate captin and he lurched off to his quarters to count the loot and swill the grog, in a half attempt to forget about the most dreaded meteorlogical phenomina of the eight seas. . . The Kraken of the deep. . . .
one and a half bottles of grog latter, the pirate captin was having thoughts of bathing in a fabled barrel of the essence of pure grog. . . and once in a while screaming “ARRrrrrRRRR” at the starting to spin room walls, when the pirate captin remebered first hearing of the dreaded quested KRAKEN OF THE DEEP!
It was way back . . . way back when in the decade of the noughties, and naughty they had been indeed. With 1/2 million dollar campaign budgets, 13% wage increases, increases in office budgets, increases in property taxes, and increases in the amount of time ice covered the streets, and increaces in the amount of Scamdels that happened, like 13 million spent on a park of concrete! Yes it way back then in history, that the pirate Captin was a groging down at a certain ovetime establishment of grog serving that the pirate captin first heard of the KRAKEN OF THE DEEP the most dreaded meteorlogical phenomina of the eight seas. The pirate captin then was just a second deck swap, underworked and overpaid as most pirates are, when he heard from the person codenamed deepthoughts about the the most dreaded meteorlogical phenomina of the eight seas, the KRAKEN OF THE DEEP!
In half whispers, in a darkened corner over a table covered in grog stains, the futire pirate captin heard how the most dreaded meteorlogical phenomina of the eight seas, the KRAKEN OF THE DEEP was a land critter! A land critter that walked on two legs! Rumor mongering had it that the the most dreaded meteorlogical phenomina of the eight seas, the KRAKEN OF THE DEEP
was fourty feet tall! The rmor mongering mill also had it that the most dreaded meteorlogical phenomina of the eight seas, the KRAKEN OF THE DEEP had two arms! Two arms the size of freight trains! and with just its bellow, the most dreaded meteorlogical phenomina of the eight seas, the KRAKEN OF THE DEEP could cause ships to sink, mountains to quake and pirates to fall down and loose thier sea legs( the ability to walk on a ship pitching to and fro in a storm churned sea.)
The most dreaded meteorlogical phenomina of the eight seas, the KRAKEN OF THE DEEP, according to the established pirate rumor mongering mill, could walk on water! Eat hot coals! Breath smoke that burned! and shoot flaming balls of fire from its arse hole that burned entire forests and towns down to ashes that drifted away on the winds!
The most dreaded meteorlogical phenomina of the eight seas, the KRAKEN OF THE DEEP acording to the rumormongering mill could eat seventy seven pirates at one meal! And it was rumor mongered to be able to pull miracles from its two nostrils, like a sick pirate blowing snot from his beak.
But it was not all of that that scared the pirate captin and gave him nightmares. . . Oh no it was not that.
Nor was it the seven bottles of grog swilled by the pirate captin every day , that gave him nightmares scary beyojnd belief. Oh no, it was not the swill.
Nor was it the dirty underwear the pirate wore, once it(the pirates underwear) was white, snow white. But after seven years of stains with no washing, it was black. Black as the heart of an ugly bald pirate, with anger at hair lost coursing threw his veins.
On no, it was not the stains.
No it was the Rumor that put the fear of a farm raised chicken in the pirate captins small little and very tiny heart.
Oh yes. . . it was the rumor.
The rumor that the most dreaded meteorlogical phenomina of the eight seas, the KRAKEN OF THE DEEP had challenged the pirate captin to
Three round in the ring
no holds barred
Winner get to donate all proceeds to the charity of hs choice.
Looser wears a clown suit for the entire election and has to say I wam wearing the clown suit because I lost to the most dreaded meteorlogical phenomina of the eight seas, the KRAKEN OF THE DEEP. . . .
Arrrr media maties.
reach into those chests. .
book the hall
rent the ring
Issue the invitations
And I promise , the most dreaded meteorlogical phenomina of the eight seas, the KRAKEN OF THE DEEP will be there.
I have a feeling though, that the pirate captin will be off in the warm southern seas on that day. . . . I would have spelt it captain, but the pirate captin wears no crown of victory gold. He wears a cap of tin. Captin.
This Tale of the Pirates Nightmare is brought to you by your Mayor of Edmonton candidate number one creative writter, (proof is in the editors choice award from the international library of poetry): Dave Dowling.