3 eyed parrot
The story of Winkey the 3 eyed parrot! Or : Is pirate yarn good for socks?

Once upon a time, in the time of the naughties to be precise, there was no 3 eyed parrots to be found. There was lots of two eyed parrots, and a few one eyed parrots, which were the favorite of pillaging pirates, as one eyed parrots could be fitted with a tiny eye patch, and some could even be trained to say things like” arrrrrr” and “pass the grog!” Such feats of birdiness amused many a pirate that was seeing triple from too much watered down over priced grog! At such pirate gatherings, tales of pirating were the common form of bragging, and a one eyed pirate parrot that could talk and wore a mini eye patch, won many a pile of doubloons or pieces of eight, for it’s grog swilling pirate captin.
Sometimes though, sometimes such things as talking one eyed parrots would cause the cutlasses and cannon balls to come forth, and those feats of bragging pirating were talked about only by the few pirates that lived though such times, and were still able to talk after! Yes, scarier than a one eyed parrot causing a pirate fight, was a pirate with no tongue, who could only say “Hhhhaaaarrrrrrr” in various ugly tomes of angry screaming!

Yes back then, there was no three eyed parrots! Just one eyed and two eyed parrots. But then, then pirates, pillaging pirates, pillaging polluting pirates got into government.

No one is sure when or how, or who the first pillaging polluting pirates in government were. But soon, over 98 poorcent of the government was composed of pillaging polluting pirates that respected naught. And those pillaging polluting pirates in government upped their wages, upped their perks and privileges, upped their pensions, upped their food bills, upped their travel expenses, and soon those pillaging polluting pirates in government were living better than any king or queen was living!
And of course the pillaging polluting pirates in government upped the taxes to pay for it all.

Well now, the other pirates, like the greedy Oily pirates, and the greedy money changing pirates, and the greedy cannon making pirates, they all wanted more once they saw that the pillaging polluting pirates in government were living like Kings, so they started screaming for more loot from the overtaxed voters pockets. And the pillaging polluting pirates in government caved in, rather than fight a pirate battle over easy ill gotten gain.

So the pillaging polluting pirates in government started giving as much as they could, away to the other pirate captins and pirate crews. The pillaging polluting pirates in government would give other pirate crew the right to do things like clear cut the forests for some gold dubloons for overpriced to the overtaxed voter wood goods. And other pirates got the rightys to foul the air, and give it a brown color. And other pirates got the rightys to foul the waters and turn the rivers the colors of brown. And yet other pirates got the rightys to dig up the ground where ever they wanted and foul want ever they wanted to foul. All of it done in the quest for greed. For Pillaging polluting pirates do not care about clean waters and clean air and clean land with forests upon it. Nope, all pillaging polluting pirates care about is greedy greed. Give a pillaging polluting pirate in government all the money they could ever spend in 20 life times, and they will still want m o r e. That is what greed is, it has no full level. Greedy pillaging polluting pirates filled with greed is what made it so the airs are brown, the waters are brown and the forests are going, going soon to be gone!

Proof that pillaging polluting pirates in government only care about greed, is how it is easier to catch a Sasquatch live, than to get pillaging polluting pirates in government to lower their wages and put those tax payer savings towards the taxpayer!

Yes, it is true, the word will end, the stars disappear, and Unicorns will roam wild before pillaging polluting pirates in government lower their wages!
So there was forests disappearing for the greedy greed of pillaging polluting pirates in Government. And the airs were turning brown, because of the pillaging polluting pirates in government. And the river waters and ocean waters and rain waters were turning brown, because of pillaging polluting pirates in government. There was so much toxicity upon the Planet, in the name of greed, that mutated critters were starting to be born. One toed pigeons were everywhere. 6 legged frogs, Siamese twins, and of course there was the various health ailments and problems that started to plague the overtaxed voters.

Now some rumormonger that it was those toxic products that were everywhere that caused winkey the 3 eyed parrot to mutate into existence. And some rumormongers said that Winkey the three eyed parrot was no mutation, but evolution! As some considered three eyes to be better than two eyes. And of course Winkey could blink or wink 7 different ways! Mutation shuddered some, Evolution said others, and some trendy followers, were quickly asking the Hollywood plastic surgeons if they could get a third eye added to their forehead!
Some said Winkey was just a bad dream of a Kraken, that the Kraken had told to a two eyed parrot. And then the two eyed parrot went forth squawking how there was three eyed parrots!

Trooth said the three eyed parrot was just the fancied invention of a Kraken to shame a pillaging polluting pirate into 3 rounds in the ring, no holds barred, UFC rules, looser wears a clown suit challenge! Savage Barbarian, barbarian from a long line of barbarians, he had bellowed to the naked full moon waving in the sky that Winkey the three eyed parrot was a figment of imagination brought to pseudo life to shame the pillaging polluting pirates into lowering their wages and putting those savings towards saving the forests . Savage Barbarian howled that he heard so from that story telling character named Myth!

420 scientists in a double top secret laboratory signed a statement in invisible ink that Winkey the 3 eyed parrot and any other 3 eyed parrots was and were not a result of their rumored genetic experimentation, which they stated they were not and never were and never will be doing. Dolly the cloned sheep said “baaaaa” which translates to “Winkey is no relative of mine!” And we could not track down Blinkey the three eyed fish at the simpsons in springfield for a comment on Winkey the three eyed parrot! Rumormongering has it Blinkey was cooked. That is Blinkey with a B, now a W, Winkey is still, according to the rumormonger mill, rumored to still be very much alive.

I myself believe Winkey the three eyed parrot would have happened sooner of later no matter what. I myself believe that Winkey the three eyed parrot hatched in an Edmonton ice covered pothole that should have been scraped clean of ice, but never was. The constant rumbling of all those vehicles over the top layer of ice vibrated down to where Winkey the three eyed hatchling was, and kept all three of his growing eyeballs warm, until warm spring weather did clear the ice and snow from the streets of Edmonton, allowing Winkey the 3 eyed parrot to beak his way to freedom and fly to the internet where he enjoys today freedom today and forevermore. Warm spring weather is the only way the streets of Edmonton get cleaned of snow and ice, even though the Scamdel of Edmonton squanders almost two Billion dollars a year! What the scamdel of Edmonton squanders almost two Billion a year on is between him and God. My guess would be pirate wonders and pirate wages and pirate perks and pirate privileges!
All that taxpayer loot sure isn’t going to cleaning the streets or helping the poor or making sure there is no homeless in Edmonton. Nope, it seams all those Billions go to making sure wonders like Winkey the 3 eyed parrots are born, and have a fine home to live in!
Now that’s the honest truth about Winkey the 3 eyed parrot, mascot of pillaging polluting pirates everywhere, and if you do not believe me, well just look at the computer monitor, there it is. All of it, all the truth about winkey the three eyed parrot. And if you can not believe the computer monitor:

then you just better make sure that next October, you go the polls and Vote for your #1 non-pirate: Dave Dowling for Mayor of Edmonton!

No Pirates in politics please